Official Disclaimer:

Few animals were injured in the making of this webpage. Avoid where prohibited. Do not hold near open flame. Close cover before striking. Not for internal use. If swallowed induce vomiting. Dry clean do not wash. Use in well ventilated area. Do not inhale. Keep away from children. Dolphin free. Shake well before using. Do not enter crime scene. Cook until tender, serve hot. Do not freeze. Always use gloves when handling. No MSG. Caffeine free. Peel slowly. Do not over inflate. Do not puncture. Use only soft cloth, wipe gently. Flush twice. Cold wash only. Rinse thoroughly. FDA approved. Do not spill. Keep away from eyes. Do not tighten. Do not recycle. Discard after use. Do not open before Xmas. If rash persists call Doctor. Wipe your feet before you come in, this is a brand new rug. 404 file error server may be down. Use with caution. Keep cool.